124-YEAR-OLD WOMAN SAYS DRINKING SPERM IS WHAT KEEP HER ALIVE

The oldest Canadian woman alive was celebrating her 124th anniversary this morning in Mississauga, and she gave a surprising answer when asked the secret of her incredible longevity: she drinks a cup of semen every day.

Eleanor Clarice Gladstone was born in 1895 in Hamilton, in Ontario. She was married and widowed twice, had seven children, 28 grandchildren and dozens of great-grandchil

dren.

More than 250 people gathered yesterday to celebrate her birthday, including her family as well as several media representatives.

When asked by reporters if she had any secrets to remain healthy and alert at her age, the elderly woman gave an answer that provoked uncontrollable laughter from the guests.

“I drink man juice! A cup a day, every day. I’ve been drinking it for a century. That’s what keeps me alive.”

Ms. Gladstone says she had to hide her health secret when she was younger because of society’s social conservatism at the beginning of the 20th century and says she hopes others can now benefit from her discovery.

“I always knew that sperm was the real fountain of youth. I’m glad my husbands were both comprehensive and open-minded for the time and let me drain them of their juice.”

Experts consulted on the subject confirmed that semen has several beneficial effects that help overall longevity.

Notably, due to the endorphins, estrone, prolactin, oxytocin, thyrotropin-releasing hormone and serotonin contained in it, semen has incredible natural antidepressant properties.

It also has several benefits including stress-relieving and anxiety-reducing properties as well as sleep regulate hormones, but one specific element in semen could explain Ms. Gladstone’s incredible longevity: Spermidine.

When ingested, this unique element has been proven to dramatically increase the lifespan of animals by as much as 25 percent and was also found to prevent liver disease as well as liver cance